Welcome Back....

Hi.. I know I never really had too many readers, but for anyone who still checks up on me.. HI! I haven't blogged since the end of August. So much has happened and yet nothing has happened. I quit blogging for awile because this was generally set up as a spot for me to whine about my hypochondria... and since my last bout of it set me up with atleast 3 CT scans and 2 visits to 2 surgeons, and a whole new slew of debt, I haven't had a bout of it in awile. I figure..if something bad was looming, those scans would have caught it. I have traded my anxiety for depression it seems..and I think this might be worse. I have little twitches of hypo... like my shoulder ache... and the fact that I had MONO right before christmas, and the lump on my neck thats been there for years that feels a little bigger.. but I haven't done any hardcore internet 'research' so to speak, so things could be worse!

Points of interest:

Job change: I am now working as a waitress, cocktail waitress at a fabulous new bar/restaurant. I like it.. it keeps me very busy and not focused on anxiety.

Still single, although my son's father let his fat girlfriend move in with him and I've been pretty upset and obsessed with that. Kinda seeing an ex boyfriend from the past, who has paid my car payment for the past two monthes and lavished me with gifts and dinners, but who slightly gets on my nerves for dumb reasons, will blog more about that later.

Have pretty much isolated myself from all of my friends and family... due to A. Huge thing that happened on Halloween B. Some other shit....once again.. will blog more about this later

As for today, I've got some kind of ingrown hair/boil in the crease between my left theigh and ass and that really hurts..I've taken to wearing those old people stick on heating pads for my right shoulder ache, and I have to work today..(lil scared about that, ended up doing more than a FEW shooters of Washington Apples sat night and got quite tipsy on the job.. a nono. We will see what happens)

What happens when you have 4 cavities to fill and the novocaine isnt working....

THE DENTIST GIVES YOU 10 SHOTS AND THEN YOU ARE IN FUCKING PAIN ALL DAMN DAY WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

And NOW it becomes clear..

I got my period today. Would explain why I've been a miseable , crying, whining baby for 2 weeks now. I think I'm gonna see my gyno about that PMDD or whatever it is called.. that is worse than normal PMS. I feel fine today. Odd. And I felt fine last night as well. I'm glad I found a reason and not that I'm just going soft. What a relief! Also relieved due to the fact that Doc and I played 'Just the tip' last weekend, and I'm paranoid like that. Yesterday I spent the day with my friend Beth talking about her horrible husband and laying out in the pool. We decided to go see my uncles band... which is a cover band of Bon Jovi/Journey. LOVESSSSSSSSS Journey. I used to like Bon Jovi until my kid got a fascination with them and I have to hear their music constantly. I danced for 4 hours straight and HARDCORE danced to the normal songs the dj played in between sets. I am very sore but I feel rejuvenated and much better. I love dancing. Sooo much. It is my release.. always has been. I just wish I could take private classes so I could do it all of the time. I would give up anything else I do and just do that. Makes me feel good and is a great workout. Haven't heard from Doc. Don't care either. Odd.. I guess I'm just expelling all of the negative energy and neediness from my woman parts. So weird how that works eh?

Bullshit

OKEEEEEEEEEEE SOOOO WE FINALLY HEARD FROM THE GOOD DOCTOR!! THIS MORNING ON TEXT.. WENT EXACTLY LIKE THIS

" Hey Sweetie!! So sorry I missed you yesterday, I had to work late and caught a ride over to Pitt this morn. I'm about to board the plane now and will hit you up later"


HAHAHAHAHAH my take on this: BULLSHIT.. PLEASE! YOUR THOUGHTS?

BITTER

It is 9:42 pm on friday...

and i have just given up all hope on atleast a ' im sorry , was running late at the hospital, cant see you tonight but im goin to miss you blablabla ' bullshit call. I am absolutely humiliated, and regardless of what i said before.. completely shocked. F it. I have Ativan and a good book.

F you fake doctor!

Wait...

Surge of girl power after reading last post... WHY WOULD I LET ANYONE WHO DID OR DIDNT CALL ME THAT I WASNT IN A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP WITH BOTHER ME TO THE POINT OF BLOGGING ABOUT THEM EVERYDAY? I am turning into one of those girls that I can't stand. The kind of girl I never was until like, 2 monthes ago. No GUY could bring me down before. Odd. You know, it MIGHT have something to do with the hypochondria which is why this is bothering me so much. I finally got rid of my last bout of it. And then I was thinking,, wow.. if I dated this guy , I could call him up at any time and ask him any number of things before I started to freak out. But guess what, I'm sure I still can. He is nice enough that even if he is not interested in me, that I'm sure he would answer my health questions. I feel better already. Please let it be 5 already. My boss is on my ass today.